October 30, 2012

DIY Halloween Costume: Highlighter

For all parties concerned: I AM OK. 

Hurricane Sandy was a bitch of a storm but luckily Brooklyn killed it. My lights didn't even flicker for a hot second and I was able to watch the news for 24 hours straight. If I learned anything from the reports, it's that we were all supposed to die during the storm. There was a moment last night where I emailed a Chicago based friend asking what I should do if a "The Day After Tomorrow" scenario struck. (I'm a little very nervous about the world ending this December.) The asshole told me to run to battery park because no doubt Jake Gyllenhaal would be there to rescue me. That was a preposterous idea though, because Battery Park was already under water and everyone knows Jake lives in Brooklyn. 

The biggest take away from the hurricane is the re-affirmation of my most favorite mantra: Brooklyn is better. At this point, the whole tri-state area understands this too. Seriously. All my friends in lower Manhattan are fucked. And here I am, freshly showered, sipping hot coffee and blogging. SUCK IT MANHATTAN. 

In bad news - it looks like Halloween might be cancelled in NY. I'm not too upset because I have already explained to you how much I dislike the holiday, except for the drinking. And quite frankly - I think people are more into drinking during a freak storm than on a party night so it all worked out in my favori. 

Regardless - I kept my promise to make a cheap, easy, and not-slutty costume because I know not all of you live in NY/NJ/CT and some of you are actually going to celebrate the day of the dead. 

So here it is. Ladies and lady-like gentlemen: The HIGHLIGHTER COSTUME!
I really was hoping to get someone to photograph me in the outfit so you could see the full effect but, ya know, there was a hurricane. It kind of messed shit up. 

October 26, 2012

Halloween Costume Ideas

I have said it once, I have said it twice, I have said it, like, a lot. 
I am not FUCKING festive.
...Not even sorry. 
(I'm a little sorry, because I know some of you are festive and look to the internet for festive inspiration. I wish I could be better and give it to you, but not enough to actually try."

Despite my lack of festivity, the one thing I do like about Halloween is getting drunk. (Not in the OMG-let's-pay-100-bucks-to-go-to-a-shitty-party-at-a-shitty-bar-and-get-wasted way. Those parties are the worst and New Years is the same. Rookie night, is what my high school economics teacher so aptly named these holidays. Maybe not the best topic for high school economics class but, hey, now you know why I don't understand economics.) Unfortunately, people get mad if I show up to the party in regular clothes, so I decided to make an easy and cheap costume. 
Ingredients for the perfect costume:
1. Coverage. It's fucking October 31st. I'm cold.
2. Cheap. I'm talking zero dollars. Not 20, not 5, not even 2. Why would I buy shit that I never plan to use again.
3. Comfortable. No matter how great you are at drinking, you're gonna get sloppy. Eventually. Sloppy is so much worse when you are wearing a difficult outfit. You know what I'm talking about. We have all been that asshat who wore that complicated leotard under a romper with tights on a heavy night of drinking. Not your best look, was it? You did not get any ass that night, did you? Mostly because the boys were like, "How the HELL am I going to get that shit off!? NEXT."
4. No special makeup. Similar to my rant in item number 3, heavy makeup and heavy drinking are not a good combination. What happens when you start crying because you realize you have the most amazing friends in the world and you love them so much and OMG you are the luckiest bitch alive? Your going to look like SHIT, that's what. [Sidenote: For the record, I am not a drunk crier. Just need to get that out there.]
5. Look bangin'. I know this is pretty contrary to the comfortable coverage situation, but the truth is one can look tastefully hot.
 All these requirements remind me of picking out an outfit for my first day of high school: take monumental time and effort to ultimately look effortlessly cool. The good news is I think I figured it out for my pending costume. And I am planning to show you how you can too. Next week. After I make it. This weekend. 

In the meantime, since you probably want to get started on your costume this weekend as well (you festive asshole) I have scoured the internet to find this AM-AH-ZING youtube video that pretty accurately expresses any costume advice I would offer to you, my dear reader:


I am going to start slinking around the East Village to find these chicks and make them my friends. (In the least creepy way possible.) 

Favorite video quotes:

"[In reference to sexy cat costumes] If you are attracted to cats in a sexual way that's gross. They're pets. Do you have sex with your pet!? NO!"

"It's called Halloween not 'Hello, hard weenie.'"


"Cop themes are always a hit. And you don't have to show any tits. They don't do that. Cops keep their tits in. Never seen a cop with tits out."

"Use your head not your tits."

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. 

Also, because I'm in the video sharing kind of mood, please enjoy my favorite 80's jam, as I did this morning on the subway. ON REPEAT. 
(Fun fact: my 11th grade physics teacher introduced me to this song.) 

Have an excellent weekend and don't forget to dance. 


October 19, 2012

Exciting News: Renegade Brooklyn Holiday Market

I have been accepted as a vendor at the Renegade Brooklyn Holiday Market at the Williamsburg Waterfront!!!

Boom, boom. Shake, shake. Now drop: 

See that? FIRST EVER. Due to popular demand. Cause we popular. 
FOOD & BOOZE!!!!!!!!!!!!
(exclamation point usage based on my personal level of excitement.)

The question you ask isn't 'Should I go?' it's 'How can I keep and entire weekend free for shit-tons of craft fair excellence?!'

Some details: I will be there on November 17 & 18 selling lots of lace cell phone cases, iPad cases and other fun goodies. I will update you all with more information as the date approaches, but in the mean time mark your calendars!
And please, feel free to email me any suggestions/special requests of items to sell. Tell me what you love! 

To make life easy for everyone I made an event on my facebook page! 
Join the event if you think you can make it.

Can't wait to meet some of my bad-ass readers.
You have one month to save some shekels and prepare to shop your crafty-ass off.

And, as always...


October 18, 2012

DIY Rhinestone Sleeved Tee

Ah, finally. A standard tutorial post. How long has it been? Too long. That's how long. 
Don't be mad, bro. I blame my absence on the tedious nature of the project I am posting right now. I also blame my friends for inviting me to so many fun things over the past two weeks. They don't lie. When it rains, it POURS. But it was mostly the tedious shit.
...kind of.
...not really. 

Before I show off the fruits of my labor, I have a very exciting announcement. 

If you're into this stuff, follow my new wedding themed pinterest board.
I bring up the engagement because it might affect you. I maybe, might attempt a few wedding based DIY projects. I KNOW. You don't come here for that shit. This is a usually a safe place for the sinical asshole with a cat (me). Weddings don't generally fit in here. But, ya know, it's my sister. And I want to make her wedding and engagement extra special so if it means decorating a bridal shower, then I'm gonna decorate the shit out of that shower. And then show you how to be as awesome of a sister as I am. It's not a competition, but just so you know, I would 100% win. 

And in the event that I do get a little gushy about flower arrangements and other stuff irrelevant to you, I promise to work extra hard to get the regularly programmed material out as well. Because I love you, and that's what you do for the ones you love. 

So, without any further ado, I do, give you, this tee-shirt with the crazy rhinestone sleeves:

October 5, 2012

Blogger Highlight: Love Aesthetic

Holy change of pace. This is an unprecedented post for me. 
Here's some context: In a perfect world, I would fill my corner of the internet with original projects designed and executed by yours truly exclusively. Alas, it has become apparent that I no longer have the time or resources to create new content at my original pace. This is a bummer because sometimes I abandon you for a week or more at a time. It's straight up rude, and to be honest, I miss talking to you every day.

While considering this sad truth, I had an epiphany. I spend boatloads of time perusing the internet for DIY inspiration and follow some amazingly talented people on the blogosphere. While I list some of these rad blogs to the right on my blogroll, I decided to go a step further and fill the me-shaped hole in my blog with some curated content. What's more, I find some really great shit, and I'm excited to share my findings. The way I see it, if you enjoy my blog (which you obviously do because here you are), you will probably also ejoy the blogs that I enjoy. I am not being very articulate - but you get the gist, right?!
From now on (unless I change my mind) I will share with you DIY projects that I find elsewhere that give me that "GODAMNIT! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!" feeling. 

I plan to generally provide a handful of great ideas/projects from a variety of sites. However, this week I want to highlight one blogger in particular because I think she's FUCKING great. OK?!

Introducing Love Aesthetic by Ivania Carpio. 

I'm pretty much obsessed with every single thing she makes. She is super talented and each DIY post is chic and beautifully designed. 

Here are some of my favorite items featured on Love Aesthetic. 
(Ivania's tutorials are pretty light and leave a lot to the imagination so maybe I'll offer tutorials on how to make her designs... once I figure it out myself.)

Ya. She's pretty excellent. Plus I love her hair. I so want pastel hair but I'm too much of a puss to commit. Blonde I remain. 

Well, this has been fun.
If you follow me we can have fun all the time! Everyday. 24/7.
...Yeah, it's like that.


October 3, 2012

DIY Rag & Bone Ombre Jeans

I found these super slick Rag & Bone pantalones on the interwebs a few days back:
Rad, right!?
But also, super trendy. 

In my recent effort to never invest in trendy items ever (toot toot classic pieces!) I decided to make this bleach ombre dream myself instead of purchasing. Also, I'm broke. So buying was not a legitimate option. I used a beat-up pair of BDG jeans that I was planning to throw away anyways. 
Reduce, reuse, recycle. Save the environment and some shekels all in one shot. 
You know what I always say: When the world gives you ratty-worn-down jeans, bleach 'em!
I know mine didn't turn out exactly like the Rag & Bone pair. A bit less subtle in color and fade, but bomb in their own right. In real life, it looks kind of like a flame. In my mind, these are the jeans Katniss Everdeen would wear, if only they were red...