December 13, 2012

DIY Hardware Necklace

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal! 
Your gift this year is two DIY posts in one week. (I know I'm like 2 weeks early, but 'tis the season... right? Plus, Hannukah is happening RIGHT NOW, so...)
Remember the days when I had the time and ability to post 5 times a week?! Old times were good times. 
But new times aren't so bad. I mean... I have a life these days, and that's pretty cool. Definitely not mad about that.

Last time we met, I told you about my adventures in the Home Depot. I failed to mention that in addition to plumbing parts, I also purchased some small pieces of hardware that caught my eye. Yes, sometimes hardware catches my eye. No, I do not think this is peculiar, hardware jewelry is in and I'm on the train.
Get with it, guys.  

I used one variety of such items to create this radsicle geometric necklace:
(Can we make 'radsicle' a thing? Please?!)
Ya, I know. It looks good. 

And, ya, that is a nebulae backdrop. I got this excellent book at The Strand called 'Far Out: A Space and Time Chronicle' and now it is my favorite thing in the entire world ever. It's a coffee table book featuring images of all the nebulae and it makes me so super happy. Let me describe how I feel when I open this book using a rage face:
Ya, it's like that. 

December 11, 2012

DIY Hardware Candelabra

My particular neighborhood in Brooklyn (Bed -Stuy) is not considered the most desirable location. It is my humble opinion that that's complete bull-shit because it's an awesome place.
...At least in my area. Further out may not be cool. I don't know, I don't usually wander too far over.

In any event, I'm not really mad about the dangerous reputation because, quite frankly, it makes me look like a bad-ass when I tell people where I live. Also, the rent is still manageable and that's simply the tits. 

 But, despite popular belief, Bed-stuy is a really great place. Apparently they say that it is gentrifying faster than Bushwick because it's so architecturally beautiful, and lezzbe honest, Bushwick is nasty. The community here is super friendly and people don't act like isolated robots while walking down the street. People say 'Good Morning!' and cheer you on if you run past. Most importantly, and pay attention, I am walking distance from a mother fucking Home Depot. Walking distance! 

I could go on about the greatness of Bed-Stuy, but Home Depot is kind of the agenda for this post. I went on a long walk to Clinton Hill on Saturday and hit up the new Utrecht store near Pratt to get some art supplies and maybe a descent bagel. (Bagel was a fail. I didn't know they made bad bagels in New York. I was not pleased.) 

I decided to take the less scenic route home and stop off at the Home Depot to browse their hardware. I can't really explain that impulse. It's completely out of character and my mother will probably become worried when she reads this. We are not Home Depot kind of girls, but I found myself in the plumbing aisle browsing hardware materials. Glamourous, I know. But that's when genius struck.

Hardware Candelabra!

Side story, in college I worked at the Free Poeple store. It was cool because I didn't have much cash and I got 40% off at Free People, Urban Outfitters, and Anthropologie. Not a bad deal in exchange for being a retail slave. I bought these awesome candles that drip colors when they burn from Urban for my then-future apartment. I unearthed them while engaging in my aggressive pre-thanksgiving fall cleaning event and decided I really needed some bomb candelabras to let these babies burn. They have been waiting for this moment for years.

And then in Home Depot I was all like, Eureka! I shall make industrial candelabras for my cool drippy candles and it shall be wonderful. This shall redeem my shitty weekend and I shall be happy with my creation.

Three hours of scouring one shelf later, I found the correctly
shaped and sized parts. (Acutally no I definitely did not - one of the employees finally came over to help me. He/she found everything I needed.) I went straight home, inhaled my crappy bagel, ignored my new art supplies from Utrecht, and made these:
Yes, that is a phonograph. Yes, I do use it to listen to records. Yes, it is awesome. Yes, stealing it from my parent's basement is the most 'hipster' thing I have ever done. No, I'm not sorry. Yes, Haters gon' hate. 
In the meantime, I'll be here, listening to beautiful music. 

November 29, 2012

DIY White Button Down Shirt: REMIX

As Lena Dunham so accurately describes in her show 'Girls,' the post college era is a mess. A real shit-show. It sucks for everyone. It is confusing, poor, full of bad decisions, peppered with low self-esteem, and generally not sober. Hopefully, in spite of that, or maybe because of that, it is also a time of great growth. 

I would like (hope) to think that I have officially passed the 'post-college' phase. I have a steady job, I'm killing it on the blog (yeah, I'm tooting my own horn - my stats are excellent), I have my own apartment that I actually really really like, I finally know how to cook a healthy meal and can manage to do the dishes afterwards, I like my friends, my furniture (kind of) looks intentional, I can afford a nice meal, I have a kitchen table and I use it, I belong to Equinox - most of the ingredients for functioning adulthood. SCORE.

I first realized what a changed bird I was a few weeks ago. A foreign friend came over for dinner. We had not had a hang-in since college. He was amazed at my life and kept asking how proud my parents were of who I have become. I was confused, because even though my parents are very loving and proud, they have not been exceedingly, extra proud since I last saw said foreign friend. In fact, they were probably more proud then because, ya know, I was graduating college and that's kind of a big deal. It was clear there had been much time and space since my amigo had last come around and he was in shock to see that I was no longer a dysfunctional college student. (Go me!)

Then again, right before I headed home for Thanksgiving. I was doing Fall Cleaning (Let's make that a thing instead of spring cleaning. I am so much more inclined to stay inside and scrub when it's cold than on a lovely spring day.) and found my sketchbook from freshman year. That thing was DARK. I don't at all recognize the person in those pages. Strange, because these days I wear a lot more black, much less glitter, and absolutely no peace signs. (Not even sorry.)

Speaking of, I also found some photos from my college days and another mammoth change has been my wardrobe. Granny-chic is not my thing anymore. Nor is hippy-dippy. Nor is desperate wannabe hipster. Also, I grew out my short granny hair and decided to stop wearing particularly baggy, shapeless dresses and intentionally ugly glasses. I used to look like a person who has many, mulitple cats, and was proud of it. I don't. I have one cat and that's enough. Maybe one day I'll share a photo of my college ID, because it is HILARIOUS. Today is not that day, though.
Too soon.

As I filed through old photos I began to comprehend how much clothing I have purchased and soon after discarded over the years. Super wasteful. So, point of this very long, self-appraising story, happening now: I have pledged to try to 'upcycle' my clothes before committing them to the red cross.
(See how I used 'try'? Giving myself an out. Because my follow through is lackluster at best.)

I had previously purchased an over-sized white sheer button down from American Apparel back in my I-prefer-to-wear-clothes-that-look-like-bags days. I have been thinking about eradicating the thing for a while because I never wear it. Part of this has to do with the shape (or lack there of), but I think it mostly has to do with the shitty detailing. Let me clarify: AA is great for basics. However, anything beyond a t-shirt, leggings, or tights is usually poorly sewn and has crappy details. Case in point, the aforementioned shirt. Whoever chose the buttons on that shirt should leave the fashion industry. It's not for you. 

This is what the updated shirt looks like now:

This is the lame before version:
OK, it doesn't look THAT bad in this photo, but you have to remember, this is the BEST CASE SCENARIO for the shirt. It will never actually be this clean, or pressed, or on a model figure, or professionally photographed. Notice how the fabric pulls near the seams on my shirt but not on the model's. Just sayin' - IRL, it's a very different shirt. 

So I made it better with pretty buttons. Duh. 

November 15, 2012

Find Me At The Craft Fair!

Since I already know you are planning to come hang out at the Renegade Craft Fair Holiday Market in Brooklyn this weekend that I told you about here and here, let me show you where you can find me when you arrive!

Check out this sweet map that the bad-asses at Renegade provided:

I am booth No. 2. Right near the food! And the photo booth! And the muthafuckin' DJ! And far from the stinky bathrooms! Score.

I'm  super excited about meeting all ya fools. 


November 13, 2012


Here is a really aggressive and obnoxious reminder that I will be selling some mind-blowingly awesome items at the first ever Renegade Holiday Market in Brooklyn this weekend!!



You should only know about the intense spray-paint aroma in my apartment, or the general layer of glitter covering all the surfaces. I found some a lot of glitter on my cat, too. This shit is happening

But seriously, if Williamsburg is accessible to you, you should come to this momentous occasion. You know it's going to be huge because I made a fucking facebook invite. We can schmooze and shit IRL. Hell, bring all ya friends. Let's make it a party. 

In addition to meeting/shopping me, you will have the opportunity to buy amazing one-of-a-kind handmade gifts for everyone on your list from some crazy talented folks. Check out the list of artists for a quick taste of what to expect. 

And the lovely flyer: 

There aren't too many more ways to say it, so just go. 
Thanks, I love you. 

November 5, 2012

Blogger Highlight: SWELLMAYDE

I should feel really bad right now. I don't, but I should.
Why? Well. You see, I was cooped up in my apartment ALL WEEK last week due to that bitch Sandy. I had more than enough time to make so, so many wonderful things. Instead I decided to sit on my couch and eat at least 3 lunches per day. And these were no lettuce lunches, these were chubby pizza and hamburger lunches. Pretty gross, right? Also, pretty amazing.

Like I said, I should feel bad. However, I take solace it the fact that every single person I spoke to at my office did the EXACT SAME THING. Ha! We all feel like total turds. Not being the only asshole who was a complete waste of space during our gift of a free week at home makes me feel so much better. Like SO much better. I think losing routine pust us in this really lame not productive state. I'm quite glad that's over and to be back at work, although a very wise co-person reminded me that I will regret that sentiment by tomorrow. I'm not sure if I agree - but I'll keep you posted on my general attitude in the upcoming days.
If I decide to.
Who knows... I'm pretty unpredictable these days. And my followthrough is subpar. So, stay tuned either way because, ya know, you make my world go round. 

Point of that whole story is, I've got nothing for you. 
Well, not nothing. As you know, I am participating in the Renegade Brooklyn Holiday Market (come see me!) so I have a lot of cell phone cases and stuff. But you know, nothing to SHOW you. 

So, alas, we have come upon my second edition of Blogger Highlights, 
introducing SWELLMAYDE.
(Nice logo, right?)

I have pinned and tumblr'd many a projects made by the very talented, LA based, Aimee. I highly recommend this beautifully designed blog to you, miss reader-pants. (Or mister. I don't know - I just assume I have no male readers.  If you are a dude, and you are a reader, holler at a girl, and I'll keep this shit gender neutral.)

For your reading convenience, I have provided images and links to my favorite DIY projects on SWELLMAYDE below.  Eat your heart out. 

Hope you enjoy this FAAAAAAAABULOUS blog as much as I do. ^.^

Hey, have I told you lately that I LOVE YOU. 
You can let me know how mutual that feeling is on ALL THE SOCIAL MEDIA! 

ALSO, before I forget, I know I generally keep things lighthearted. However, Hurricane Sandy has been hugely devastating to my dear city, state, and neighboring states. The destruction and loss is tremendous. Everyone can help those who were affected by the storm.
Check out or for ways to help out. 
K, bye. 

October 30, 2012

DIY Halloween Costume: Highlighter

For all parties concerned: I AM OK. 

Hurricane Sandy was a bitch of a storm but luckily Brooklyn killed it. My lights didn't even flicker for a hot second and I was able to watch the news for 24 hours straight. If I learned anything from the reports, it's that we were all supposed to die during the storm. There was a moment last night where I emailed a Chicago based friend asking what I should do if a "The Day After Tomorrow" scenario struck. (I'm a little very nervous about the world ending this December.) The asshole told me to run to battery park because no doubt Jake Gyllenhaal would be there to rescue me. That was a preposterous idea though, because Battery Park was already under water and everyone knows Jake lives in Brooklyn. 

The biggest take away from the hurricane is the re-affirmation of my most favorite mantra: Brooklyn is better. At this point, the whole tri-state area understands this too. Seriously. All my friends in lower Manhattan are fucked. And here I am, freshly showered, sipping hot coffee and blogging. SUCK IT MANHATTAN. 

In bad news - it looks like Halloween might be cancelled in NY. I'm not too upset because I have already explained to you how much I dislike the holiday, except for the drinking. And quite frankly - I think people are more into drinking during a freak storm than on a party night so it all worked out in my favori. 

Regardless - I kept my promise to make a cheap, easy, and not-slutty costume because I know not all of you live in NY/NJ/CT and some of you are actually going to celebrate the day of the dead. 

So here it is. Ladies and lady-like gentlemen: The HIGHLIGHTER COSTUME!
I really was hoping to get someone to photograph me in the outfit so you could see the full effect but, ya know, there was a hurricane. It kind of messed shit up. 

October 26, 2012

Halloween Costume Ideas

I have said it once, I have said it twice, I have said it, like, a lot. 
I am not FUCKING festive.
...Not even sorry. 
(I'm a little sorry, because I know some of you are festive and look to the internet for festive inspiration. I wish I could be better and give it to you, but not enough to actually try."

Despite my lack of festivity, the one thing I do like about Halloween is getting drunk. (Not in the OMG-let's-pay-100-bucks-to-go-to-a-shitty-party-at-a-shitty-bar-and-get-wasted way. Those parties are the worst and New Years is the same. Rookie night, is what my high school economics teacher so aptly named these holidays. Maybe not the best topic for high school economics class but, hey, now you know why I don't understand economics.) Unfortunately, people get mad if I show up to the party in regular clothes, so I decided to make an easy and cheap costume. 
Ingredients for the perfect costume:
1. Coverage. It's fucking October 31st. I'm cold.
2. Cheap. I'm talking zero dollars. Not 20, not 5, not even 2. Why would I buy shit that I never plan to use again.
3. Comfortable. No matter how great you are at drinking, you're gonna get sloppy. Eventually. Sloppy is so much worse when you are wearing a difficult outfit. You know what I'm talking about. We have all been that asshat who wore that complicated leotard under a romper with tights on a heavy night of drinking. Not your best look, was it? You did not get any ass that night, did you? Mostly because the boys were like, "How the HELL am I going to get that shit off!? NEXT."
4. No special makeup. Similar to my rant in item number 3, heavy makeup and heavy drinking are not a good combination. What happens when you start crying because you realize you have the most amazing friends in the world and you love them so much and OMG you are the luckiest bitch alive? Your going to look like SHIT, that's what. [Sidenote: For the record, I am not a drunk crier. Just need to get that out there.]
5. Look bangin'. I know this is pretty contrary to the comfortable coverage situation, but the truth is one can look tastefully hot.
 All these requirements remind me of picking out an outfit for my first day of high school: take monumental time and effort to ultimately look effortlessly cool. The good news is I think I figured it out for my pending costume. And I am planning to show you how you can too. Next week. After I make it. This weekend. 

In the meantime, since you probably want to get started on your costume this weekend as well (you festive asshole) I have scoured the internet to find this AM-AH-ZING youtube video that pretty accurately expresses any costume advice I would offer to you, my dear reader:


I am going to start slinking around the East Village to find these chicks and make them my friends. (In the least creepy way possible.) 

Favorite video quotes:

"[In reference to sexy cat costumes] If you are attracted to cats in a sexual way that's gross. They're pets. Do you have sex with your pet!? NO!"

"It's called Halloween not 'Hello, hard weenie.'"


"Cop themes are always a hit. And you don't have to show any tits. They don't do that. Cops keep their tits in. Never seen a cop with tits out."

"Use your head not your tits."

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. 

Also, because I'm in the video sharing kind of mood, please enjoy my favorite 80's jam, as I did this morning on the subway. ON REPEAT. 
(Fun fact: my 11th grade physics teacher introduced me to this song.) 

Have an excellent weekend and don't forget to dance. 


October 19, 2012

Exciting News: Renegade Brooklyn Holiday Market

I have been accepted as a vendor at the Renegade Brooklyn Holiday Market at the Williamsburg Waterfront!!!

Boom, boom. Shake, shake. Now drop: 

See that? FIRST EVER. Due to popular demand. Cause we popular. 
FOOD & BOOZE!!!!!!!!!!!!
(exclamation point usage based on my personal level of excitement.)

The question you ask isn't 'Should I go?' it's 'How can I keep and entire weekend free for shit-tons of craft fair excellence?!'

Some details: I will be there on November 17 & 18 selling lots of lace cell phone cases, iPad cases and other fun goodies. I will update you all with more information as the date approaches, but in the mean time mark your calendars!
And please, feel free to email me any suggestions/special requests of items to sell. Tell me what you love! 

To make life easy for everyone I made an event on my facebook page! 
Join the event if you think you can make it.

Can't wait to meet some of my bad-ass readers.
You have one month to save some shekels and prepare to shop your crafty-ass off.

And, as always...