December 11, 2012

DIY Hardware Candelabra

My particular neighborhood in Brooklyn (Bed -Stuy) is not considered the most desirable location. It is my humble opinion that that's complete bull-shit because it's an awesome place.
...At least in my area. Further out may not be cool. I don't know, I don't usually wander too far over.

In any event, I'm not really mad about the dangerous reputation because, quite frankly, it makes me look like a bad-ass when I tell people where I live. Also, the rent is still manageable and that's simply the tits. 

 But, despite popular belief, Bed-stuy is a really great place. Apparently they say that it is gentrifying faster than Bushwick because it's so architecturally beautiful, and lezzbe honest, Bushwick is nasty. The community here is super friendly and people don't act like isolated robots while walking down the street. People say 'Good Morning!' and cheer you on if you run past. Most importantly, and pay attention, I am walking distance from a mother fucking Home Depot. Walking distance! 

I could go on about the greatness of Bed-Stuy, but Home Depot is kind of the agenda for this post. I went on a long walk to Clinton Hill on Saturday and hit up the new Utrecht store near Pratt to get some art supplies and maybe a descent bagel. (Bagel was a fail. I didn't know they made bad bagels in New York. I was not pleased.) 

I decided to take the less scenic route home and stop off at the Home Depot to browse their hardware. I can't really explain that impulse. It's completely out of character and my mother will probably become worried when she reads this. We are not Home Depot kind of girls, but I found myself in the plumbing aisle browsing hardware materials. Glamourous, I know. But that's when genius struck.

Hardware Candelabra!

Side story, in college I worked at the Free Poeple store. It was cool because I didn't have much cash and I got 40% off at Free People, Urban Outfitters, and Anthropologie. Not a bad deal in exchange for being a retail slave. I bought these awesome candles that drip colors when they burn from Urban for my then-future apartment. I unearthed them while engaging in my aggressive pre-thanksgiving fall cleaning event and decided I really needed some bomb candelabras to let these babies burn. They have been waiting for this moment for years.

And then in Home Depot I was all like, Eureka! I shall make industrial candelabras for my cool drippy candles and it shall be wonderful. This shall redeem my shitty weekend and I shall be happy with my creation.

Three hours of scouring one shelf later, I found the correctly
shaped and sized parts. (Acutally no I definitely did not - one of the employees finally came over to help me. He/she found everything I needed.) I went straight home, inhaled my crappy bagel, ignored my new art supplies from Utrecht, and made these:
Yes, that is a phonograph. Yes, I do use it to listen to records. Yes, it is awesome. Yes, stealing it from my parent's basement is the most 'hipster' thing I have ever done. No, I'm not sorry. Yes, Haters gon' hate. 
In the meantime, I'll be here, listening to beautiful music. 

1. Plubming parts from the Home Depot. 
I am not even going to pretend like I have any idea what these are called specifically. All I know is that the longer round tube is called a nipple. And I only remember that because I am clearly a child and I think that is the most hilarious name for a plumbing part. 
It's gold. 
What plumber takes that part seriously? 'Um, yes. I'll take two 3/4 inch round nipples. No, 3/4 inch, not a half inch. Yes, round. ROUND NIPPLES. Please I would like some round nipples. THANK YOU. Gosh.'
I can't...

Step 1:
Screw the nipple into the base-like part. LOLZ. DYING. NIPPLE. 

Step 2:
Keep the small parts away from your cat because she will be under the impression that you have brought home new toys for her entertainment. Sorry, cat. 

Step 3:
Screw the small tapered-like piece onto the top of the nipple. NIPPLE!

Now stick your candles in it and let 'em burn. 

Say, 'Hey.'


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